Sunday, June 24

in love.infatuated.falling.

I think I am in love. No. Infatuated. Nope. FALLING? I read Ate Jess' stories in my laptop. Well yeah,they're some real tear-jerkers but then after reading them,the tears wouldn't stop falling. I don't know why but it just drip-dropped[correct term?] Whatever. I slept at around 12 am last morning?or night? Whatever. Then I woke up every hour because my stomach ached. Grr. So basically, I did not get an awesome sleep at all. Plus, I'm supposed to study today. We have the unit tests coming up and well... I only have a subject left which is English. I figured I'll do it later when I've calmed down and can concentrate again. But ever since I sent that e-mail to him,I feel restless. I DO. I don't know what to do, how to act, what to say. Gawd. I can't be in love,can I? Because once he steps here again in the Philippines and I'm in love with him, I will be speechless. I am so stupid. Why did I send that e-mail in the first place but best friend was right. I should tell him my feelings of ADMIRATION[am I only admiring?] Gosh. I don't know. The distance never bothers me. The rejection that is yet to come? Well,that terrifies me. But I'll be ready to accept it no matter what. I know I just have to be contented with the fact that he may never like me EVER. But I tried. So there's still hope, I think.[You think?] I just want to see him and tell him I've been waiting for him for so long that I don't know if it'll kill me.
I hope and pray that it'll be US someday. It's a dream.
Can you be mine?
belle.out.

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