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The Artist

normally called janine by my close friends and schoolmates.
belle by online friends and abbi by my family. :)
Sweet 17. Freshie @ UP Diliman. Writer. Blogger. Singer. Dancer and acts, occasionally.
A lover of the arts, I know a thing or two about fashion, but stick to the classic tee-jeans-flipflops outfit.
Been blogging for 2 years. :) Enjoy. But keep your shitty comments to yourselves.

I'm a DAVID COOK fan

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AWARD

Applause
*claps* Layout: ME Inspiration/icon: photobucket&runtherace
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updated on: Tuesday, November 24|24.11.09
I wrote you a love letter.

I miss you.

I envy the people who spend so much time with you. I try to know you more just so I can feel closer to you. I feel so deprived of understanding you.

Every word you tell me, may it be good or bad are always stamped in my mind. IT'S UNFAIR. People tell me I shouldn't. That I should just stop the nonsense. You're a bad idea. The again, I love bad ideas. Maybe that's the reason why I can never leave you in my own world where you and I are the only inhabitants. It's too selfish, and I should know better. However, I can't stop myself.

I wish I could just say, "I think I like you." That would be lying to myself. Let me say I love you. I have never felt this way with anyone. Most of the time when I'm with you, you make me laugh. You never fail to tease me about something I do or something's wrong with my face. I always try to act cool, even though my insides are tingling. You make those cute faces when you look at me and although I pretend not to be amused, I really love looking at that face. I love the fact that I find it hard to read your personality. I love how you hug me tight as if you never want to let go. I love how you are so intelligent. I love how you know my mood. I love how you have this certain effect on me that even I can't explain. It may not show, but these are the things that I am thankful that you show me.

I wish I could match up to you so you could finally notice that I am not a child. I can surely understand you if you just let me.

I don't know the reason why you treat me differently than others. It hurts me in a way. I never know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Do you treat me differently because I'm special? Or do you treat me differently because you don't want to show me the real you? It boggles my mind and I never fail to think of you over and over again. It hurts my mind and my heart, but I don't mind the pain. I chose to love you, but I will never regret that choice. It hurts like hell when I see you hugging someone else. I will take the pain because despite the pain my love for you makes me happier than anyone I know. I've started to sing again and write poetry again. I may sound like a lovesick fool, but I don't care as long as through this I'll finally tell you how I feel. I know you will never ever learn to love me, but I love you. I love you. I love you. I could say it a million times and you could push me away a million times, but I will never falter. I love you so much my heart hurts, but I don't give a damn because loving you made me the happiest I've been in years.

Janine :)
xoxo,


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updated on: Saturday, November 14|14.11.09
KAKAIBANG SARAP AT LIGAYA :)

Anong makukuha mo sa halagang P69. 50? KAKAIBANG SARAP AT LIGAYA. UP DILIMAN PREMIERE OF 69 1/2 Starring Nicco Manalo, Katherine Luna, Jao Mapa, Bituin Escalante, Tado. December 8, 2009 * 5pm & 7pm * UP Film Institute (Cine Adarna) Hatid ng UP Sirkulo ng mga Kabataang Artista (SIKAT)


Text 0917 733 1325 for tickets.




xoxo,


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updated on: Friday, November 13|13.11.09
Listen to what the mouth's not saying.


When she texts you, it is because she misses you. When she doesn't text you, it doesn't mean she doesn't miss you. It means she's waiting for you to miss her.

xoxo,


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updated on: Sunday, November 8|8.11.09
i'm okay

I realized that with my past posts that I'm making people worry. Don't worry I am fine. I 'm just going through something confusing this past few weeks and now, I guess I feel better.

Christmas is coming so I'm posting my new wishlist for Christmas.

xoxo,


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updated on: Monday, October 26|26.10.09
emotional baggage

Yes, I am not fine. I've decided that the first few days of sem break was a good thing for me. It made me get away from the one thing that's been bothering me these past few days. I couldn't stop myself from wondering if my feelings were genuine, or was I merely allowing myself go with the flow of it all just because I loved the drama? My mind's split and in my head are illusions of what could be, what might be and what is not. There are reasons why I chose to feel like this, and although a lot of people may stop me, I can't help it. Bang my head on the wall, I still wouldn't stop. Beneath this silly façade, is my heart in the open, vulnerable as a fish out of water. Strip me of this, you will see me struggling to survive. That's how it is.

I wish I could say all this, instead of piling it up. I wish I could speak the words I've been longing to say. I wish I could stop pretending. I wish I could make you happy. Just for a while.


If only for a while.
What if I keep holding on to you? Would you keep me safe?


Would I still be safe if I hold on? Or would you break away and then let me fall?
Please let me decide and stop my nonsense.
xoxo,


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