Monday, June 1
Alas, a happy post!
I never thought in a million years that I would feel this way again. It's been quite a while since someone made me feel this way, and it feels good. It feels right. To be honest, I was quite resigned to the fact that I didn't need anyone beside me in this journey. Friends kept telling me to finally get back out there or to open up to people more because being in love is one of the most beautiful experiences to ever happen to a person. I did not disagree back then when they were giving me this pep talk; however I never felt ready and I didn't find the person I'd be willing to give it a shot yet. I guess God truly works in mysterious ways because I met you in the unlikeliest of places and at the most unexpected time at that.
I have always been scared of fully opening up myself to a person, and to be honest, I never quite do. I always reserve a bit of myself and never truly intend on sharing those bits to other people. This may be so cliche, but with you, I never need to worry. You make me feel like uncovering everything about me isn't scary. I feel like I shouldn't guard my secrets with you, you make me believe that these quirks and feelings I have should always be shared and that you will stick by my side no matter what I say or believe in.
With you, it's never too early to say that I love you and that I want to be with you for the rest of my life. In the past, I was never sure about my feelings, I was always on the fence with the person I was with. Perhaps that's why those relationships and feelings had to end, they never were the right people for me. Maybe, it only took a conversation about Disney films and firefly watching to know I was already talking to the right person, the only person I could picture myself to be with for the rest of my life.
Hey I know you know all this already but every Sunday, I go to mass. And I always cease talking to you for an hour. I always spend this hour to keep thanking the Lord for my blessings. Recently, I have been grateful to the Lord for my biggest blessing this year and it's you. It will always be you. So thank you for this person, Lord. I will keep saying it everyday even if you already know.
If you were given a time machine to know how I felt about relationships, you would probably see how realistic I was or sometimes, cynical on most days. With you, every adventure seems to be positive. I am excited for what's to come with you. I will always feel giddy whenever you pick me up, text me or just simply smile at me. The future will always be uncertain, in fact it's one of the things I love the most about it. I know I have always thought negatively about uncertainty. The times I've encountered uncertainty, I felt like it was out to get me. Not this time though. I have a good feeling about this. Throw me into the abyss of the unknown, as long as I am with you, I have nothing to worry about.
I love you.