Sunday, November 23

Dear God,

Feels funny to talk to you even though I've been constantly chatting You up these past few months. I never thought, (well, at least in college) that I would be as close to You as I am now. I remember, sometime, in October, I looked up at the sky and saw the moon. I knew I had to talk to You while gazing above. I thanked you for all the blessings you gave me this past year, as well as the heartaches I had to endure. I don't regret a single thing that happened this year. It might be cliche, but everything I had to go through this year just made me stronger and bolder. It was my first time to become dependent on a person, and I had to realize that depending on people can be heartbreaking, but not so when I depend on you. This year, You made me realize my worth and how I should let certain people go. You showed me that not all people are here to stay, and the ones who do stay are the ones worth keeping.Thank you. You made me open my eyes to the different types of people I could still meet in my lifetime and that I deserve a lot better. 

Honestly, Lord, I am tearing up as I write this because I cannot explain how much I felt Your love this past year when I didn't even deserve a single drop of it. You make me a better person everyday, and for everything You gave me, I will be forever thankful.

I am not mad at You for taking people away from me or letting them leave me. I know You always have a bigger plan. Perhaps these people were not meant to stay or were undeserving of my love. Either way, whatever it is, I am grateful. I guess it took a big step for me to finally realize that the ones we love can ultimately destroy us and break us, but that we can eventually emerge after such tragedy as a better, more improved version of ourselves. I asked you once, "What did I do to deserve this pain?" However, I know better now. The life lessons I learned along the way while experiencing pain and heartbreak was enough to convince me of Your love and care for me. Everything that I experienced in the past year up to this point in my life was all Your doing, and it was for the best. 

You will always be my rock, the person I will only depend on. You have given me new meaning in my life and perhaps, this year entails a new journey in my life. As Gabriela would say, "It's the start of something new." 

Thank you Lord for all the blessings I continue to receive every single day, for the blessing of life and love. Thank you for giving me the courage and motivation for law school, and for giving me the patience to see past the pain that others may have caused me. You are indeed great, Lord.

I love you, Lord.

Janine :)