Sunday, April 26

bipolar

I am ECSTATIC. Okay, obviously you see the change in my layout so that's the main reason why. I spent almost 5 hours fixing the damn thing. Seriously, who knew CSS codes could be so complicated? After hours of deliberating what to do and almost giving up, I finally found the problem. BIG YAY to me! However, I won't elaborate what the problem was, you'd laugh at me for that. HAHAHA I know I am laughing now.

I seriously think I am bipolar . One minute I'm happy and the next minute I'm not. What is wrong with me? I haven't quite gotten to a severe case yet. I'm not suicidal yet.Thank God. I'm seriously troubled because I want to talk to my friend, but I can't. And when I do finally talk to him, he blows me off. So there is reason to be bipolar now don't you think? Sometimes I wonder if I ever am a good friend. I know I'm selfish so that's gotta be a downside to my relationships. I ponder on these things because I have come to realize that after I share a secret or two with a friend, I find a way to break that good relationship. Seriously, what is wrong with me? I recently found out about my behavior by constantly analyzing my past friendships with other people. I tend to either break the trust, backstab them or just plain ignore them. I have come to the conclusion that I can't have many friends to share secrets with. All I need is one or two. So much for my dream of being a people person.

I seriously thought he couldn't resist me, and when he blew me off, it was a big slap to my ego. I mean, we are friends and I don't want to be bitter about the past mistakes. I don't want to turn into a Dan Scott. I'm trying to move on and forget all the hurt and pain or mistakes so that it doesn't trap me in the past. Guess I'm not the one who's bitter anymore.

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