Monday, December 10

i feel depressed.

And this is not some "I-got-dumped-by-a-guy" drama. Puhleeeassse. I feeel so depressed. I want to scream, hit things and pull my hair out.(Morbid?) Well, to get to the story, my tito's baby died just today. Tita Moleth(his wife) was in labor last night and unfortunately, today his little boy is gone. I feel so depressed and sick. I mean, the baby hasn't even seen the world yet. More importantly for my beloved aunt and uncle, I feel sorry for them. I mean, for Tita Moleth to have you carry that baby for 9 months and you'll find out it's dead? My mom said my tito was crying while he was telling the story. I feel his pain so much. And to think it's Christmas. Last Saturday when they were here, I was listening intently to Tita Moleth's stories about her trip to her OB. How she's due next week, and the like. Gawd. I feel so sick. It's so painful.

The death of a baby is like a stone cast into the stillness of a quiet pool;
the concentric ripples of despair sweep out in all directions,
affecting many, many people.
--De Frain, 1991