Tuesday, April 22
Is it okay to miss you?
It's possible that sometimes, I get this sudden rush of emotions. I constantly ask myself tons of questions that I know I cannot find the answers to. Somehow, I always see you in front of me, laughing. I know that is not the case now. Now, you are laughing with someone else, possibly I am far from your mind.
Sometimes, I ask myself, "Is it okay to miss you?" I stop myself, think again, and finally come to the conclusion that it is fine, despite these pangs of hurt that I feel whenever I remember a memory of us together. It is okay to miss you, you became a big part of my life. You always were the first one to hear of good or bad news and I always counted on you to be there, to never leave. So, how am I not supposed to miss you? I miss our banter, our walks to wherever our feet take us, and most especially, our lazy Saturdays. I miss the way you look at me, as if I was the only person in the world that mattered. I miss how you told me you pictured a life with me, how you said I love you at random times in the day. I miss all of you, simply put.
But, every time I miss you, I remind myself that you took the easy way out--that oftentimes, it wouldn't be okay to miss you because the pain of you leaving me comes back fresh and unbearable. I stop myself from missing you because you quit--you stopped believing in me, in us and our future together. I stop myself from missing all your little quirks because that is why I fell in love with you and I need to undo it to be able to move forward.
But I do miss you even if I try to stop myself.
So tell me this, is it okay to miss you?