awkward. :(

Here's the scoop about me whenever there are family parties, which I can't seem to avoid and I don't want to stop doing it.

I wait for the guests to arrive, and no, I don't retreat to my room RIGHT AWAY. As soon as they arrive, I do the traditional "beso" and "mano". I hang out with my cousins for a while and then when it's eating time, I eat. After a while, I get so bored and I get awkward, that's the time I stay in my room. I don't know why I do that. It's just that I don't like mingling with them for a long time. Let's face it, I'm not like this with my friends. Nor am I like this at school.

So guess what? I was reprimanded AGAIN for not being a good hostess which I probably would be if I didn't feel so awkward around them. I hate this feeling but I do it anyway. And now, I feel guilty because they gave me such a nice gift and I know I said thank you, but I feel it isn't enough.

I suck. :(