Firefly

To you,

I wasn't expecting to meet you this year. Lord knows I wasn't counting on this to happen to me at all. I even made a sweeping declaration to swear off guys until I finished with law school. But somehow, life doesn't work that way. It will do whatever the hell it wants and I am glad I met you this year, in the unlikeliest of circumstances, in the most unexpected way and manner.

The old me would have never been as expressive as I am to you now, but I am glad I changed. I am ecstatic that everyday I wake up to greet you and to tell you that you are loved. And that you will be loved as long as I live (because I believe in forever). Sabi nga sa Bride For Rent, "Forever means giving another unlimited chances to love another right every day." I am not afraid to tell you my fears, my hopes, my dreams, what I ate today, how sick I am and I know you feel the same way.

Thank you for being patient with me, for being the most loving and the most intelligent person I have ever had the chance to have conversations with. Thank you for the countless times you encourage me, for being my personal cheerleader, for supporting me in everything that I do. Thank you for being a feminist in your own little way, for never undermining my talents, for always looking at me with the highest regard, despite knowing my imperfections. Thank you for knowing how to calm me down, how to cheer me up and most importantly how to make me laugh. Thank you for always bringing me to places that I want to go and for always telling me that I am beautiful, even if I go on and on about my insecurities. There is so much that I want to thank you for, and you know that but I just felt like I needed to say it endlessly.

I never get to write about you nowadays, probably because I can say anything that I need to say to you directly. However, with these words, I want you to know that this year would not have been the best year of my life if you hadn't come along, I have told you over and over again that you are and always will be my biggest blessing.

And here is my only promise for the next year : I will always choose you, because loving someone means choosing them everyday for the rest of your life. And I will gladly, without hesitation, choose every single part of you for the days to come.

You will always be my firefly, my light even in the darkest of days. I love you.

Thanks 2015!

While for now it seems like I haven't been writing that much, I will take this time at the end of 2015 to write finally about how my year has been. To be perfectly honest, I went into 2015 without much hope or expectations. I was a bit positive, but not too much. I was hopeful, but not enough. And as luck would have it, I was confined in the hospital in the first week of 2015. So now you know how I felt that 2015 would be unfortunate and I didn't expect much from it at all.

But the best year of my life was just about to begin.

Going into something with no expectations can either be a pro or a con on a list; I mean it really depends on the circumstances as well as the situations. Going into 2015 with no expectations is a huge PRO on my list and it's because this year has been so good to me, even if I didn't ask this much or even if I didn't ask at all. Sometimes, life works in the most mysterious of ways. 

This year, I finally learned that being brave is not about not being afraid, but learning that overcoming fear is possible. I finally accepted that to love means opening your eyes and lowering down your walls. To love means being afraid of what's to come but facing it with your head high and your eyes open. To love means being up for the adventure, no matter how scary it may seem. This year has taught me that love is not about being perfect, but rather accepting that there will always be imperfections. To love means knowing when to eventually say sorry, to wholeheartedly take it if you are wrong, to stop constantly finding conflict in the smallest of things. To love means choosing him every single day, even on days that he's being such a pain. I know somehow that life probably presented these lessons to me these past few years but I never chose to listen, to hear and to finally embrace them. Believe me, these lessons have been the hardest to learn but I am glad that 2015 has given me all the experiences to cherish and to hold forever in my heart.

P.S.

Lord, I can't let this post end without thanking you for all the blessings You have continuously showered this year. I am forever grateful for everything and You are simply the best.