Tuesday, May 25

my last letter to you

This will be my last letter to you. I've realized that I will never ever be good enough for you and no matter how much effort I put in, you will never like me. I'm not sorry that I felt something for you, because I believe that in some way, you changed me for the better. You taught me to love myself even more because not everyone will give me the love and attention that I will crave for and deserve. Thank you for giving me roughly 10 months of pain, joy and unrequited love. Thank you for being there when I didn't need you. Thank you for not replying to my text messages and only attempting to text me when I was so close to forgetting you. Thank you for coming at the wrong time. Thank you for giving me false hope that I almost always depended on. Thank you for making me look stupid in I-can't-count-anymore-because-it's-too-many times. Thanks for letting me depend on your opinions, when I shouldn't have. Thanks for the stories you told me. Thanks for sometimes sharing your life with me, even though I know you think I'm not worthy to hear it. Thanks for using me to continuously build your confidence, while I get left with none. Thank you for everything you wanted and everything I didn't get.

Sorry that I wasn't good enough for you. Sorry that I could never match up to the girls you wanted. Sorry that I'm stupid at times. I'm sorry that I make no sense at all because that's what I am when I'm with you. Sorry for being ugly or fat. Sorry for having fat legs or too many pimples or scars or anything that you don't like about me.

I wanted your love, but I don't anymore. I don't want to be stuck with a person who wouldn't appreciate me.

This is who I am. And I'm getting over you. FINALLY.

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