Merry Christmas darling.

Merry Christmas.

The secret's out
Or so she silently ponders
Would you ever reciprocate?
Or would you just leave her with no words?

She silently waits
Wonders if she should just forget
Should she?
Or should she blow the dream away?

You surprised her.
One thing from you she never expected
And with five meaningful words
Her Christmas started to exist.

hey

One guy I know who will always love me. At least for now. :)

love letter 4

I stopped counting.

I stopped counting of the days when I would finally get to hold your soft arms.

I stopped looking.

I stopped looking at the things that remind me of you.

I stopped believing.

I stopped believing that I was something special.

I stopped everything that may be you.


That doesn't mean I stopped loving you.

love letter 3

In my mind, there are countless reasons as to why I shouldn't keep doing this.

In my head, there are a million reasons as to why I should forget this.

In my thoughts, there are a lot of reasons as to why I should stop.

I NEVER CAN.

I could only hope.

I could only wish.

I could only pray.

Merry Christmas to you. I hope you're happy.

love letter 2

Hello again.

You look stressed. It seems like you never have time for yourself. I look at you and think of various ways to ease your pain. I wish I could do something to make you feel happy this Christmas. I remember someone asking me, "What would be my Christmas Wish for you?"

You know what I would answer?

I wish you weren't so stressed.

I wish you could laugh hard again.

I wish you didn't have doubts on your abilities.

I wish you could rest even for a bit.

I wish you could be happy.

There are many things that I'd like to say to you. I'd like to tell you how I feel. I still can't.

My Christmas Wish?

I wish I could get STEAL you from this world and create our own. Don't mind what other people are thinking. I love you and that is all that matters.

And you still wouldn't love me back and that is the matter.

Would it still matter?

I can't.

A realization

After countless contemplations and meditations, I finally realized that I am a coward. A big fat coward.

I keep on hiding my feelings to myself and I guess now, it isn't healthy. Or I tell my friends but never tell the person involved how I feel. And I should. But I can't.

I'm a big COWARD.

I guess I'm only strong when faced with some kind of barrier. I can say things I mean in messages, emails or texts.

To you:

I'm sick of feeling this way and I don't know if there's something that's going to come out of it. I may be full of pride, I may not notice you when you're around, but know that it's only because I want you to approach me and tell me something I want to hear. I understand it's demanding. And I know I don't have any right to ask you of this. I feel frustrated with myself and not with you anymore. I continue to neglect myself, but nurture my feelings for you.

I want to give up. And I will.

I will someday.

Know that I love you even though I can never tell you.