I write this on the last day of 2014, to you 2014 Janine. You have been through quite a lot this year, and there is only one word to describe 2014: overwhelming. I cannot entirely say that it was the worst year for you, dear but it was heartbreaking. I know you cannot count how many tears you shed this year or how many nights you cried yourself to sleep. Earlier in the year, you experienced heartbreak like never before and you thought you were not going to survive. I remember the emotional pain translated to physical pain, but you got through it. You always get through it. You always find a way to move on, to let go, to seek better things.
Today, I write to you, 2014 Janine, to say that I am proud of you. You have become the best version of yourself this year, not only physically or emotionally, but also spiritually. You learned to reconnect with God and be thankful for all the blessings you received this year. Sometimes, I think the heartache you/I experienced this past year was kinda worth it for all the improvements I had to undergo through this year. Janine, you learned to let go of people who are not meant to be in your life, you learned to let the memories fade and make space for new ones. You gained new friends and rekindled with old ones. I have nothing to say but that I am so proud of what you allowed yourself to do this year.
You have always been a strong person and I know that the early months of this year didn't show it, but look at you now. You have improved so much and taken all that negative energy and put it to some good use. I think you are the happiest you have ever been in 2014. I am glad.
Janine, you got to travel so much this year, with friends and family. You kept close ties with your family and learned to appreciate how much family means to you, how important they are and how blessed you are to have them in your life. You got to distinguish who your real friends are, who will never ever leave you at your worst. These are the people who will listen to you cry when you kinda wreck your car and who will listen when you feel a relapse is about to happen. These friends are for keeps, remember that.
I also know you made a lot of mistakes this year, but mistakes are there for learning. You trusted in the wrong people, but that doesn't meant trusting is such a bad thing. I know you are kinda iffy on the whole trust thing, but we will come around to it. I am positive.
Here's to an overwhelming 2014! I cannot wait for 2015!
P.S. To the person who broke my heart in 2014,
While you may never get to see this, I would like to extend my gratitude to you for the heartache. I learned how some people are not worth to be in my life and that people who truly love you will always stay, no matter what. There are no excuses. Thank you for teaching me that time changes people, that people change people and when people want to leave you, they will. It makes me happier all the more because I realized that there are people who do want to stay, who make an effort to be with you, who value your worth. In the end, that's what counts. I hope you find the happiness you deserve and I know we can never be friends, but do know that I have no ill feelings towards you. You have become a significant part of my life and you will rightly remain so. Thank you for everything, truly. You will always have a special place in my heart. But now, I get to start over.
Janine
