uncertainties

i am an acrobat

waiting for my turn

slowly and gently releasing

but i grip on tightly once in a while

i am a dreamer

waiting for a goal

slowly and gently reaching out

but i fall back down once in a while

i am a tree

waiting for sunshine

slowly and gently swaying

but i close my eyes once in a while

i am me

waiting for you

slowly and gently loving

but i crumble every time.

is there a right term?

You looked divine.

My eyes are clouded with darkness.

Darkness because I cannot fully understand.

Why do you keep hurting me?

On and on I say the things I can't speak

The things I should be saying to you are vast.

What can I do?

Please let me know.

You speak to me

and I don't reply.

I'm clouded by the darkness.

I wish you didn't hurt me.

elsewhere

I could have sworn that I did not see it coming.

I do not know for certain what I still feel for you.

The endless roads seemed to be moving

in various directions, in endless paths.

The journey was both ours

I wish you saw me that way

We were both in the same cloud

But your heart is elsewhere.

I look at you a certain way,

There is no greater feeling in the world

than to have you close

To have you here.

Your heart is elsewhere.

A Letter For You (among so many letters I continue to write in my head)

I want to give up.

I want to stop being wrapped up in a world where I know what I want happens. What are the odds of me getting what I would love to have?

You sit in a corner and I notice you. I could never ignore your stance, the way you dressed today, your shoes, your smile and that adorable thing you just can't seem to shake off. I'm not as observant as you, I realize that. However, you continue to amaze me with everything that may not be as cute as to other people.

I want to tell you that it's cute when you laugh hard, it's amazing when you call my name, it's relaxing and stressing at the same time when you put your arms around me and for once, I feel important to you.

I'd love to hear you breathe. In and out, in and out. If I could just stay to hold your hand for a minute and tell you what my entire being thinks of you. Just to let you know, you are DIFFERENT. You are SPECIAL. You are INSANE. You are FUNNY. You are CORNY. You are SMART. You are EVERYTHING that I did not EXPECT. And still, YOU ARE NOT MINE.

Someday, I will take the risk. Jump to you even if that could mean jumping and staying on the moon with you, I'd do it. I'd climb mountains for you, I'd eat pork for you, I'd do everything you want me to.

Pathetic. I'm pathetic.

In love. I'm in love.

I'm pathetic and in love. :(

step

A piece.

A one of a kind warrior.

Ready to fight, willing to sacrifice.

And so it is.

A square.

Everything is reachable.

And so I stay.

Wrapped up in a bubbly world, I stay.

Mistaken. Too much error.

I cry over the little things.

The piece has to take a step.

Should I still stay?

magnetism

We start with silence.

I hide the butterflies in my stomach.

I hide the over-the-top smile struggling to show on my face.

I brush my hair slightly.

I am ready.

You play with your phone.

You take a glimpse of me.

You think I didn't see you glancing.

I'm glad that you did.

Endless banters.

Interesting stories.

Yet still no attraction.

We're both on the same side of the magnet.

We end with silence.