hey

One guy I know who will always love me. At least for now. :)

love letter 4

I stopped counting.

I stopped counting of the days when I would finally get to hold your soft arms.

I stopped looking.

I stopped looking at the things that remind me of you.

I stopped believing.

I stopped believing that I was something special.

I stopped everything that may be you.


That doesn't mean I stopped loving you.

love letter 3

In my mind, there are countless reasons as to why I shouldn't keep doing this.

In my head, there are a million reasons as to why I should forget this.

In my thoughts, there are a lot of reasons as to why I should stop.

I NEVER CAN.

I could only hope.

I could only wish.

I could only pray.

Merry Christmas to you. I hope you're happy.

love letter 2

Hello again.

You look stressed. It seems like you never have time for yourself. I look at you and think of various ways to ease your pain. I wish I could do something to make you feel happy this Christmas. I remember someone asking me, "What would be my Christmas Wish for you?"

You know what I would answer?

I wish you weren't so stressed.

I wish you could laugh hard again.

I wish you didn't have doubts on your abilities.

I wish you could rest even for a bit.

I wish you could be happy.

There are many things that I'd like to say to you. I'd like to tell you how I feel. I still can't.

My Christmas Wish?

I wish I could get STEAL you from this world and create our own. Don't mind what other people are thinking. I love you and that is all that matters.

And you still wouldn't love me back and that is the matter.

Would it still matter?

I can't.

A realization

After countless contemplations and meditations, I finally realized that I am a coward. A big fat coward.

I keep on hiding my feelings to myself and I guess now, it isn't healthy. Or I tell my friends but never tell the person involved how I feel. And I should. But I can't.

I'm a big COWARD.

I guess I'm only strong when faced with some kind of barrier. I can say things I mean in messages, emails or texts.

To you:

I'm sick of feeling this way and I don't know if there's something that's going to come out of it. I may be full of pride, I may not notice you when you're around, but know that it's only because I want you to approach me and tell me something I want to hear. I understand it's demanding. And I know I don't have any right to ask you of this. I feel frustrated with myself and not with you anymore. I continue to neglect myself, but nurture my feelings for you.

I want to give up. And I will.

I will someday.

Know that I love you even though I can never tell you.