A realization

After countless contemplations and meditations, I finally realized that I am a coward. A big fat coward.

I keep on hiding my feelings to myself and I guess now, it isn't healthy. Or I tell my friends but never tell the person involved how I feel. And I should. But I can't.

I'm a big COWARD.

I guess I'm only strong when faced with some kind of barrier. I can say things I mean in messages, emails or texts.

To you:

I'm sick of feeling this way and I don't know if there's something that's going to come out of it. I may be full of pride, I may not notice you when you're around, but know that it's only because I want you to approach me and tell me something I want to hear. I understand it's demanding. And I know I don't have any right to ask you of this. I feel frustrated with myself and not with you anymore. I continue to neglect myself, but nurture my feelings for you.

I want to give up. And I will.

I will someday.

Know that I love you even though I can never tell you.